Harnessing Willpower

WillpowerWillpower touches on nearly all aspects of living an overall healthy life: eating right, exercising, avoiding drugs and alcohol, studying more, working harder, spending less. Willpower underlies anything that involves a decision. Understanding it makes all the difference. In simple terms, willpower is the ability to resist short-term gratification for a long-term goal. It’s no wonder that self-control has become a hot topic in our society, for scientists interested in understanding the roots of human behavior and for practitioners who want to help people live healthier lives. Self-control separates us from our ancient ancestors and the rest of the animal kingdom. It is the ability to subdue our impulses to achieve longer-term goals. Rather than responding to immediate impulses, we plan, evaluate alternative actions, and, often enough, avoid doing things we’ll later regret. The practical significance is enormous. Most of the problems that plague individuals in our modern society — addiction, overeating, crime, domestic violence, sexually transmitted diseases, prejudice, debt, unwanted pregnancy, educational failure, underperformance at school and work, lack of savings, failure to exercise — have some degree of self-control failure as a central aspect. Continue reading “Harnessing Willpower”


Dirty Secrets of Complicated Relationships

dirty-secrets-of-complicated-relationships11Most of us juggle multiple roles and responsibilities every day, and the boundaries between work and life are often blurred at best. Life happens around the clock. Smart technologies have enabled people across the globe to stay in touch and be responsive in real time. In fact, an article in the Huffington Post indicated that the average person checks their smartphone an average of 221 times a day. Continue reading “Dirty Secrets of Complicated Relationships”


ht#MeToo – Me too was just two words; it’s two magic words that galvanized the world,” Tarana Burke said during a roundtable at the United State of Women Summit in Los Angeles. The activist began using the phrase “me too” more than ten years ago, and her movement gained international momentum, spearheaded by social media activity and riding on outrage over Harvey Weinstein’s sexual abuse toward women long perpetrated with impunity.”Whether it’s work on sexual assaults on college campuses or awareness of child abuse, work on sexual harassment, we need to elevate this conversation to action,” I absolutely love her tenacity towards the need to elevate the conversation, to take the words “MeToo” and make them more than a catchphrase more than a hashtag trend but a call for action, for accountability. Continue reading “#JESUS”

An Illusion of Light

It is easy for Christians to dismiss self-improvement regimens as self-centered and thus ultimately self-destructive and harmful to others. During 2011 in Time magazine Nathan Thornburgh wrote an interesting article titled “Change We Can (Almost) Believe In”. In his article, he displayed hints at some Christian truth as he journeys through the self-help scene. He embarks upon a course of self-discovery and realizes, for instance, that “we overestimate our importance to the universe.” He writes, “I benefited tremendously from the uncomfortable mirror that the course had put in front of me.” In his experience, the way to inner peace came via a hefty dose of humility and recognizing personal failings, something Christians call an admission of sin. Continue reading “An Illusion of Light”

A Wounded Love

Have you ever felt like you just cannot connect with that special person in your life no matter how hard you try? You love them, and they love you, but for some reason, the relationship is just not going well?  Love is a profound word to some. I have oftentimes heard from people that it is not easy for them to say those three words “I love you” because it brings a different intensity into the otherwise under defined relationship. Life is to be enjoyed, Love is a natural wonderful feeling but it is so powerful that it can also cause pain. I sometimes feel love is something that we have told ourselves we need to do through some romanticized lens. Perhaps this is our coping mechanism to deal with the kind of pain it inflicts. Continue reading “A Wounded Love”

Obey out of Love – Comply out of Fear

He is a prominent professional, a celebrity of sorts, a pillar in the community it is her word against his.  When he demanded of her what he considered to be a favor in the front seat of his luxury car two years ago while giving her a ride home, she felt she had to comply with his demands. “If he was just anybody, I would have jumped out and ran. I would have screamed and fought. I would have done what I needed to do, but with him being who he is an officer of the court a prominent judge with an impeccable record, I was afraid, I feared the worst if I did not comply with his wishes.” Continue reading “Obey out of Love – Comply out of Fear”